Still Joy

As another milestone ends, college, I see a path beginning to set before me.
Over the past year I have transitioned to becoming a wife, an aunt, and now a college graduate.
This has led to fulfillment, confusion, and joy.

Being married has been the most joyful, profound decision of my life. Damen is beyond anything I would have expected. Somehow I find myself surprised that he still chooses to love me in my selfish, ungrateful moments. I'm surprised when he shows me how Jesus loves me.
He has led me to find a deeper love within Jesus.

I'm surprised how much Jesus loves us in our filth.
I find myself looking at people everyday and wondering how to love them. It's selfish, I know, but loving people who are not like you is hard. I find a need to understand people who are different from me, but at the same time I hear Jesus whispering, "just love them, Katie".

And I try.

Damen is so much better at this than me.
I love that he is my husband because he continually points me back to Christ without even realizing he's doing it. His actions speak volumes.

So I'm here, being a wife.


Being a wife is fun, too. But serving him is hard sometimes. Selfishness does seep through.
But how grace comes shining through.

Still, joy.

Joy is what I feel everyday. Joy is how I see the world around me, because I know His plan.
His plan for redemption, His plan to pursue and love us until the day He comes back to be with us again.

Joy. I hope it's what my husband sees when he walks into our home, when he thinks of me, and when he thinks of how blessed we are.

Joy. I hope it's what my best friends feel everyday. That the world doesn't weigh them down, that Jesus remains on their hearts.

Joy. It's what I hold true in my heart. It's the only strength I have.

I realize sometimes that I'm walking a path that's different from my friends and family. I do not really seek out who I am anymore. I just know who I am in Him. It's a blessing to realize everyday that I am not alone and when things go wrong, they will get better. He will make all things work together for my good.

In the mean time, I will tell anyone who will listen that the JOY of the LORD is your STRENGTH.

Precious Moments and Big Change

It's been a hot hot minute.

I feel as if I've jumped five steps forward in where I thought I would be at this point in my life.

Marrying the man my heart has so very desired to marry for the last four years sure feels "unreal". I cannot believe my name will be changing and so many other things along with it. And the wedding...who knew planning was so exhausting. For me, someone who enjoys planning down to the last minute of everyday, I've found myself just wishing for a week of no planning. No wedding talk. Just life without planning! Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to be able to have a wedding and that in itself is a HUGE blessing for me. But to be honest, I really just want to be married to Damen. And while I've spent four years pinning to a "Dream board" on pinterest of all these GREAT, FUN, over the top and needless ideas...when it came around to me being able to have it all, I just didn't care as much as I anticipated.

I do however care that God has created this fantastic picture of the bridegroom and just how beautiful weddings are to eternity! Honestly, that's something I could talk about all day everyday, pin to a board in anticipation, and GUESS WHAT: when He comes to get what His heart longs for the most on that most important day...it won't be something that lets us down. It will be better than our hearts ever imagined. Not saying my wedding is letting me down..I'm just saying I definitely romanticized the whole idea. Not to mention I appreciate how much work God is putting into the universe just to get His creation to WANT Him. How crazy is that?

He knew me before He even formed me. That's something that blows my mind. He loved me before I could love Him. And one day He will come back. That's going to be my (our) true wedding day.

But in the meantime, I get to marry my love and do this thing called life with him as my best friend by my side daily. I'm thankful God has allowed me to learn just how important marriage is to Him.

I do catch myself more and more often wanting to just see dad and wishing he would be with me on that day to walk me down the aisle, but man, what joy I take in knowing he rejoices daily with Jesus. Jesus has never failed to comfort me, and I fully expect for Him to come in and continue to show me just how BIG His love is for not only me, but this entire and absolutely insane place called earth.

Til next time,
Katie